Month: January 2020

Right, today I have woken with a headache, feel like shit, grumpy and don’t want to get out of bed.

I am feeling ANGRY with myself !!!

I have not had a drink in 21 days and feeling like this is not easy at all.

I am beginning to wonder if the reason I did drink was to help me cope with my crappy job and life in general. I feel lost and confused!!!

Not as easy as I thought it would be (not drinking alcohol)

Struggling with the urge to drink on the weekends and last week at work was super hard with grumpiness and headaches. Had my 1st social event last night that went well and wow, so many drunk people.

My diet has changes as well that means I am eating more sugar and that doesn’t help with achy joints and weight gain. I realise this is the hardest time (week 3) and hopefully if gets easier, am I kidding myself???

Today I have woken with a really bad headache, worse than if I had been drinking, and I hope it will pass.

Beautiful weather, no wind, perfect for a long walk along the beach before it gets too hot. I am enjoying not drinking alcohol and its physical restraints it has put on my social activities in the past but now, I  need to focus on my mental restraints I put on myself!!!

 

Great way to start the working week with a clear head!!

I am feeling good and only had a couple of tough times over the weekend when the thought of stopping for a boozy drink appeared in my head but I stayed strong and distracted myself, so instead I was drinking ginger beer and popcorn at night while watching Netflix. I don’t usually drink weekdays, so roll on Friday!!!

I can do this!!!

03/01/2020

Wow, this not drinking has taken over my thoughts and I feel like a bit of a zombie, confused and trying to detract myself on ways to stop thinking about having another alcoholic drink. I woke up at 3 am feeling shit, just like I did after drinking too much and I am wondering why?

My brain won’t stop thinking that I will fail this choice I have made, like many others in my life. I never seem to stick with anything as it all gets too hard and I get stressed out and my brain gets addled. So at 3 am I start reading my book again and Mrs D helps shed some light into why I am feeling this way, she is at Day 51 ( at this page I am reading)

Keeping busy is the key and get ready for the roller coaster ride of emotions that I am expecting to experience very shortly. I have friends coming this afternoon, so my 1st social event where I won’t be drinking. This should prove to be interesting on how I cope!!!

Here’s some of the reasons I am stopping drinking alcohol:

• I feel like shit for the next 2 days, grumpy and make stupid decisions
• I have short term memory loss
• I have blurred vision for days afterwards
• I cannot remember conversations with people that I have been drinking with
• After 2 beers,I am pissed and feel happy but I become loud and annoying to others especially my family
• Slurred speech, rave on about shit
• Sometimes I drop things and trip over hurting myself

 

01/01/2020 Fiona’s alcohol free journey ! Day one!!!

New year eve with friends and their family which ended at the beach watching fireworks and after drinking my last bottle of champagne so there’s nothing left to drink.

I have been waiting for this day to arrive, so I could start reading my new book that I came across online in Google news article called “Mrs D goes without” and I started reading it 1st thing this morning, WOW this illustrates me to a T.

I am an alcoholic and struggling to keep my brain,eyesight and obsessive behavior and thoughts together. I am not a typical alcoholic as I can stop when I have drunken enough and it has been mentioned that I am a lightweight, but the fact remains I continually think about having a beer to chill out ( especially after a busy working day) My brain function has deteriorated over last 10 years and my negative thoughts take over after a drinking binge, usually every Friday and Saturday night.I need to stop drinking and this book is hopefully going to help with my journey to be alcohol free forever. Reading this book has prompted me to start writing a blog to keep track of my journey, (both highs and lows) as mentioned will happen after drinking for the last 40 years.

 

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